


Can't help falling in love

by Raisedfrompredition



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Awkward Castiel, Caring Castiel, Cute Castiel, F/M, Fluff, Happy Ending, I don't know where I was going with this, SO MUCH FLUFF, The reader is madly in love, Years of unspoken love, but i love it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-17
Updated: 2015-10-17
Packaged: 2018-04-26 19:59:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5018383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raisedfrompredition/pseuds/Raisedfrompredition
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>*This was kind of a request by Anna Smith but i think i know what you wanted me to write so there ya go*</p><p>Reader has been madly in love with Castiel for a long time. She has wanted to tell him but she's afraid. *The story kind of explains what she feels but ends with a happy ending*</p>
            </blockquote>





	Can't help falling in love

**Author's Note:**

> I hope I succeded , i really like what i wrote , i was dedicated to it all morning, so there ya go! I hope you enjoy! Tell me what you guys think!

You knew that falling in love was a mistake. You had learnt the hard way, watching your parents find happiness and then lose it all in a night. All because of a supernatural world you had no idea existed. But who could have known that 10 years later you would be in it. Fighting it. First it was your parents, you needed revenge. But then when the Winchesters entered your life you found a second family. You were all young but you took care of each other, no matter how stubborn you were. A lot of things happened. Stuff that people would call myths , bedtime stories even. And then the unbelievable happened. You lost Dean. Sam and you stayed close because you both knew he would come back. And he did. And everything changed. Everything you knew, everything you believed in changed as **he** walked into your lifes. Castiel, an angel of the lord. Or at least so he stated. At first he creeped you out but when you got to know him better there was so much more. And god, didn't you wanna know everything. You wouldn't believe him, you didn't want to. You didn't wanna believe Heaven existed, angels existed...or even God. Because if he did, where the hell was he? Where the hell had he been when you were in so much pain? But you didn't wanna think of that, you didn't because it would just make things more confusing. But Castiel was different. He was...He was understanding. He stayed with you, he listened to you and he taught you how to be faithful. For some odd reason you trusted him and your faith was restored. What you hadn't realised then was that this faith wasn't for god, it was for him.

 

When you first met him he was like a rock. He was this soldier, so brave, so dedicated to accomplishing his mission. But the more he stayed with you , the more you got to him. He wanted to know more. He knew everything yet nothing. He had been there since the beggining but he had never looked for a purpose. No one had ever cared enough to show him the beauty in things, much more important than humans. And you decided to show him. The feelings you had for him were so strong, from the very start. But you had made a promise to yourself, you had promised to never tell him. Because you wanted to show him the world and if he ran away you would lose it all. Because you needed him, not only as him but as help. Because you knew you could never fight without him again.

 

What really got you hooked was his innocence. So innocent, so naive but also so freaking smart. You didn't know how a freaking angel could show so many human feelings all at once. It amazed you, he had learnt so much and you wanted, more than anything, to show him how to love. You wished every night, you couldn't really pray but who knew? Maybe he was listening after all. 'Yeah I wish' you always thought yourself to sleep.

It was a night like any other when you realised you loved him. You had finished a bad hunt and he had offered to take you for a walk since you were still pretty upset. He took you everywhere, in the cold night which he made warm with his smile, his kindness. And as he was talking, explaining, adoring his surroundings and everything he had learnt you felt the words on your lips. It was there. Three words that were eating you alive. ' I love you.' But you couldn't dare. You just couldn't. But you knew that day. You knew that you loved him. But you made one big mistake, you kept it to yourself.

Castiel was nothing like the guys you had been with before...Or at least the one night stands you had had before. He was complex but you could see right through him, because he had let you to. You thought you could never fall in love and he changed everything. And it was a pity knowing that your love for him would go to waste. Such strong feelings would stay inside you forever until they eat you alive. You couldn't expect Cas to love you back, you didn't even know if he could feel that or for the record if he was allowed to. Maybe he could, but he could control it. You sure as hell couldn't. The boys knew. You hadn't told them, you didn't need to. People could see it that you loved him. Excepting him. You would be there for him , every second, every day, every moment. Mostly because you didn't wanna miss a thing. You would make fun of yourself, for being such a fool for him. But you couldn't help it. How could you? He was everything you ever wanted, everything you needed and he had saved you. No matter how broke he thought he was or fallen, you knew he was a hero, he was your hero.

"Castiel." You called him by his full name, something rare. He turned around and looked at you. God, those eyes. His face, his voice, everything. His touch would give you goosebumps every time.

"What is it Y/N?" He asked, his face serious, as always. You couldn't talk. You didn't even know what you had wanted to tell him. You were lost in the sight of him. You were both alone in the bunker, the boys arranging a hunt on their own.

"Y/N?" He asked again and you came back. His voice was so pure, deep but pure. You couldn't see any flaws on him, everything was just...perfect.

"Thank you." You said without realising, your eyes still locked with his. He gave you a soft smile.

"No, thank you." He replied. His voice was now more like a whisper as a sigh escaped his lips. God, you would do anything to feel them on your skin.

"For what?" You asked, still not back entirely.

"No actually this is something I should thank my father for." He added making you frown.

"And what is that?" You asked, your voice low and awkward.

"For creating you." He replied , his answer more confident than ever yet, his face was blushing. You let out a small laugh.

"Yeah I guess he needed one more hunter to take care of his failed creations." You said and looked away.

"No. I think I know why he created you." He said and your eyes met with his as you were suprised with his statement.

"Why?" The word left your mouth before you could let it. He sighed smiling.

"Because he knew i would need someone to keep me going." He replied. You smiled. He really thought of you as that?

"Well then I guess we both need each other." You said and gave him a full smile. He gave it back.

"Yeah." He replied.

"Yeah." You followed. You looked at him, his eyes could tell you so much. You sometimes liked to think that he loved you the same as you did, that he loved you as much as his eyes would show you but you knew it wasn't true. And even if it was, how could make it work? Another concern of yours. You hadn't had a relationship since you became a hunter. Not that you didn't want to , you just couldn't. Having a romantil relationship with a freaking angel would surely bring things upside down.

He sighed again, taking his eyes away from yours. He seemed embarassed.

"A-Anyway...I'll just go get us something to eat. Actually get you something to eat.I-I don't eat...You know...Cos I'm an angel." He said. You frowned. Why was he acting like that? Like that situation was awkward. Was it? Had you said something to reveal yourself?

"Uhm okay...Would love if you got me some crackers." You said and gave him a worried smile. He nodded and then he was gone in second. What was that for? You and Cas had never been awkward with each other. Unless....Unless he was in love with you too.

'Shut the fuck up Y/N' you cursed yourself. Your brain would always make the weirdest scenarios.

You stayed in your room,while he was gone, laying on your bed, looking at the ceiling , unsure of what to do. You had been in love with him for so many years for god's sake! 'You should tell him' a voice in your head kept shouting. 'You should leave.' Another one was suggesting. No, you couldn't leave. You wouldn't make it. He was like air in your lungs, drug in your veins. You couldn't leave him. But you couldn't tell him either. You couldn't risk it all just for one stupid crush. Or could you? You didn't want to ruin the family you had. But what if he felt the same way? Sure there were some moments that felt like flirting with him but you were close enough to talk flirty. You were very close friends so there was no way he was seeing you as more than that. Your door knocked, dragging you out of your thoughts.

"Come in!" You shouted and Cas entered holding a breakfast table full with food and drinks. You smiled in suprise.

"Cas what did you do?" You asked as he placed it on the bed. He looked at you full with doubt.

"I-Dean said that girls love that...I-I wanted to make you feel comfortable, the last hunt really let a mark on you." He awkwardly said. You gave him a soft laugh.

"Thank you. Seriously will you ever get tired of taking care of me?" You asked him laughing but it was true. Taking care of you seemed like his first priority. His face turned completely serious.

"Ofcourse not. You saved me Y/N. I'll always save you." He said and by his voice you could tell he was speaking the truth. Without even thinking of it you leaned in and gave his cheek a soft kiss. He took a deep breath but you ignored it.

"I'll guess we'll just keep on saving each other." You said and you both smiled widely. He sat next to you as you opened the TV , switching the channel to an old but funny TV-show, before you started eating the food.

Wait a minute. Had he just said that you had saved him? You had saved him? How? He had always been your safe place, your rock. When had you saved him? Could he possibly feel the same way? Feel everything that you felt? Oh there was the fake hope. 'Stop hoping Y/N!' you said to yourself.

"Cas?" You asked and he responded with a "mmm" as his attention was taken by the TV.

"Can I ask you something? And I want you to reply truthfully." You said. He turned his attention to you.

"Anything." He said. You smiled.

"When you said I saved you...What did you mean?" You looked at him, your face telling him you were dead serious. His excited expression changed to a darker one.

"I meant...exactly what that word means Y/N. You saved me. If it hadn't been for you I wouldn't have made it, I wouldn't have exprerienced so much, felt all these new feelings." He said smiled. You froze there as he continued watching the TV-show. You wanted to tell him so bad. You needed to. Maybe what he had said was a hint. Maybe these feelings weren't just feelings. There was so much pressure inside your brain that the words slipped out and you couldn't control them.

"I love you." Your voice was low and soft and broken. Silence filled the room. The only think you could hear was the TV. Cas turned his head and looked at you. He looked very suprised. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no.

"What?" He asked. His voice quick and low and broken.

"I-" you started. Maybe to say it again or to say you were sorry. But you never got to as suddenly lips were on your yours and hands were holding your body. It took you by suprise but the moment you breathed in his scent your body gave in. You kissed him passionately, it was somthing you craved for years and he kissed you back using the same exact way, holding your head between his hands. Your tongues were fighting for dominance as you were thinking that you could stay like this forever. You had practically melted into his hands when he pulled away leaving you wanting-no, _needing_ more. You were both catching your breaths when Cas spoke, your faces still close to each other.

"Was that...okay?" He asked still catching his breath. Where had he learnt to kiss like that? That sure wasn't a kiss an angel would give.

"Definitely." You replied, a soft smile forming on your lips and his lips followed soon after. You stayed there for some seconds, looking at each other, unsure of what to do. You could still feel his breath on your face and you craved his lips on yours again.

"Y/N?" he asked as if you weren't looking at him already.

"Yes ,Castiel?" You replied.

"I-I love you too." He said and you felt your heart skip a beat. Your breathing quickened as a wide smile appeared on your lips, happiness you couldn't hide.

Without caring you leaned in and kissed him again.He moved you so you were straddling him as you were messing up his hair. Your mouths were moving together as they were meant for each other, so smoothly , so passionately. You moaned in his mouth and he pulled away.

"How long?" He asked and started kissing your neck. You moaned again.

"Since the first day." You replied, afraid of embarassing yourself. Hearing your reply he stopped and looked at you.

"You've been hiding it for so long?" He asked. You sighed.

"I couldn't risk it, you are everything to me." You said as you were caressing his cheek. He leaned into your touch.

"Me too. The way I feel confuses me. I don't know if i should love you but I can't control it." He replied. You didn't say anything, you just kissed him again, desperate to feel him as if he was your drug. The kiss was the same, somehow different. It was also loving, caring, everything you had ever needed.

"What the hell is going on?" You heard Dean's voice echo in the room and you both jumped. You climbed off Castiel's lap and looked at a confused but impressed Dean standing in the open door which you had never heard open and neither had Cas according to his expression. You were pissed that he had interrupted what you had been waiting for so many damn years but you kept calm.

"What does it look like?" A sudden confident Cas stated before you actually opened your mouth to say the exact same thing. You smiled at his statement and Dean suprisingly did too.

"Ugh, I knew i would find you like this someday!" He yelled while leaving, walking down the hallway.

"Was that Cas and Y/N having sex?" You heard Sam shout. You sighed.

"They're getting there!" Dean shouted back. You rolled your eyes but their words kinda made you blush since you were still not over the fact that Cas loved you. He took your hand and placed small kisses on your wrist. The boys had stopped you but you honestly didn't wanna be anywhere else. You stayed there cupping his beautiful face, analyzing every inch of him.

"I don't know what it is but with you i can almost feel human." He said and that was the most human thing you had ever heard come out of his mouth.

You kissed him again feeling his body on yours , feeling Cas, the only thing you wanted to feel. Ever.

**Author's Note:**

> THANK YOU FOR READING YOU BEAUTIFUL LITTLE PERSON


End file.
